hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
