why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think a kid would responsible me up
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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