I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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