How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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