Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
