I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
