my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
