i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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