We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize