been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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