the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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