I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I came so hard my ears popped.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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