WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
