First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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