Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize