you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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