Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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