oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
