btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
