you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I believe in your delicious
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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