my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
