she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
