i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
