i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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