we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
