I wish i was in the wii world.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
