Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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