Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Randomize
