I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
apparently the secret to your success is patron
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
