My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize