I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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