Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
