My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you had me at cake vodka
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
