i wish my penis had a tongue
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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