I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
