i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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