I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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