it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
