Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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