She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize