i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
