operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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