just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
