Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
