I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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