Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
