if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize