2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am naked and annoyed.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
