Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
