you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
