Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
