Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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