i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
