Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize