I want to stick my p in your. b.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
