God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
