Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize