Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
