why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
