I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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