Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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