but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
