I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
