i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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