You're so nebulous sometimes
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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