God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
