Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the condom got lost in my hair
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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