so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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