Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
