Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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